Sunday, September 15, 2013


Saturday September 14th

I attend my first Nigerian wedding and never once see the bride. Go figure.

Some months ago I met the bride’s father while on a mission to replace the stove’s gas canister.  He caught a lift with my driver for a drop off in South Calabar, the sketchiest district in town where posses of frustrated boyz rule after dark.  He’s the chief of Duke Town, a rather large section of Calabar where reminders of British colonization hug the shores of a once-ago slave trade corridor. Chief Duke is modest; I’ve since learned this gentle man has a rich and royal heritage. 

Although today’s bride, Bassey Duke, and her groom, Patrick, both come from royal lineage they opt for a small simple wedding. Small and simple are subjective, yes? Typically Nigerians profess their love in two different ceremonies held on different days. These two decide to economize and do it in one.


I miss the 10am White wedding; a conventional church and princess gown gig that carries on for hours, but arrive at Duke Palace mid-afternoon for the Traditional version.  At least half a dozen canopies provide protection from intermittent sun and rain.  People sit on chairs set in rows under the canopy that bears the name of their social group: Girls Power Initiative (GPI), Women of Active Faith, The Creator’s Family…. 




 

Entertainment comes by way of a lively band and an MC who keeps the crowds laughing. Too bad I don’t speak Efik. 

Surprising to me, lots of guests show up in outfits made from the same cotton print though styles vary as much as the people wearing them.  “They’re uniforms worn by people close to Bassey, She tells you where the cloth can be purchased in the market,” Sarah explains, wearing one herself as one of Bassey’s GPI work colleagues.  Interestingly, the colour theme for the day is blue, again, brides choice – announced on the invite; lots of blue on guests too.

Women carry enormous shallow brass bowls into the palace. They’re filled to the brim with gifts for the bride’s family from the groom’s: dowry 21st century style.

After an appreciable amount of time, groom Patrick arrives in the thick of a boisterous crowd clapping and dancing, flapping a giant patio umbrella up and down and banging animal skin drums. Mr Groom is wearing a felt top hat and carrying a cane. Can’t see his clothing for the throngs of bodies and poof in an instant he disappears into the palace. 
 
Sidebar: What palace conjures in western minds is far from Nigerian reality. We’re talking a basic one storey concrete building with a door and a couple of windows. C’est tu. That’s all.
 
It’s been a long day for those who have followed festivities from the start.  Fortunately we’re fortified with food…what decent Nigerian gathering doesn’t include feeding? Instead of hiring caterers or ordering off the venue menu, family friends prepare massive quantities of whatever they feel like making. Each food donor is assigned a canopy group. Our potluck draw is fish heads, hunks of meat and spicy jollof rice. I take a pass on the meat. A taste of the dried fish delivers bone slivers, lots. Warm beer chases the heat of the rice.


 
Disappointingly all traditional happenings happen indoors and out of sight for most of us guests. Seemingly the bride and her family are in one room, the groom and his in another. Eventually the bride is presented and turned over to the groom’s family. Gifts received. Payment accepted. Goods sold. We leave before the transaction is complete and the newlyweds are formally presented.

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